Riff: Who’s the Boss?

Whose boss?

Since the entire project of Ars Pandemonium is dedicated to the management and leadership of creative professionals, I toss the word “boss” around a lot. I wanted to learn a little more about the word, and slid right down a rabbit hole. Come along!

While the word fundamentally just means “person in charge,” it is for sure heavy with connotative juice.

Some of this is, of course, negative. A “crime boss” indicates a mastermind, or the head of a criminal organization. A “political boss” suggests at least unseemly opportunism and really most likely full-on corruption. Boss Hogg was…well, the less said about The Dukes of Hazzard the better.

But boss also means “cool” or “excellent” (“That new album is boss!”). I think we’d generally associate this usage with a late ‘60’s vernacular, but according to Dictionary.com, it's apparently much older than that. 

And in recent decades “boss” has been incorporated in the unquestionably positive, if often rather self-aggrandizing, phrase “like a boss,” which likely originated in hip-hop and spread from there. According to that same Dictionary.com article:

“‘To do something like a boss,’ or ‘with a swaggering skill,’ then, plays with both senses of the word: the conventional one (doing something with authority) and the slang one (and doing it extremely well).”

“Boss” is occasionally thrown around in other contexts, too. The classic “you’re not the boss of me” is an interesting construction. It’s a way of telling someone they have no control of you, even if there may not be the implication that they had control in the first place. “You’re not the boss of me!” could be child-to-sibling angrily, or friend-to-friend amusingly, or even teen-to-parent (…though on pretty thin ice). 

It’s funnier when it’s parent-to-teen. At least, as a parent of teens, I thought it was.

Used in a workplace environment, though, “you’re not the boss of me” is actually not the same thing as saying “you’re not my boss.” Imagine talking to the person who actually is your manager or supervisor. If you said, “you’re not my boss” it would be somewhere between nonsensical and downright confrontational. 

But saying “you’re not the boss of me” would likely be at least an attempt at humor or sarcasm as in, “okay, I know you are my boss but I don’t want to do what you’re asking,” or a little more darkly, “yeah, you’re my boss, but what you’re asking for right now is out of line or outside your authority, and I’m going to try and cheekily deflect.”

Here’s an extremely rabbit-hole article about the phrase.

(I’m also put in mind of the Cheryl Tunt character on the animated series “Archer,” voiced by the hilarious Judy Greer. She often shouts histrionically, “You’re not my supervisor! I quit!” whenever she’s asked to do pretty much anything or is held at all responsible for her actions. That’s life goals right there. Anyway, not really the word “boss,” though.)

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Over the years I’ve had several employees address me casually as “boss.” As in, “Good morning, boss. Did you have a nice weekend?” And, on several different occasions, at different companies, I’ve had a superior of mine advise me to nip that behavior in the bud when they’ve heard it. It’s a fascinating dynamic, and one I feel like I can discuss dispassionately since I sincerely don’t care one way or another. 

First, I have never addressed any of my own bosses as “boss.” I’ve referred to them that way (e.g., “I was talking to my boss the other day”), but I don’t believe I ever have said “hey boss, what do you think of this idea?” At the same time, I never have taken — and can’t imagine taking — any offense at someone addressing me that way. 

Has it been said with a sarcastic tinge sometimes? I mean, sure. “Okay, you’re the boss!” is probably meant to be a little snarky. Also: I don’t give a shit. That’s just a statement of truth. If my employee and I have disagreed, and I’ve heard their side and have made the contrary decision, it is actually “okay” and I am actually “the boss.” I do not feel threatened by this, and am comfortable with a little bit of sarcasm. I am not a leader who generally orders people around, so situations like this are unusual, uncomfortable, and I’m okay with them.

But my…well, my bosses hated it and wanted it put to an end. Again, this very thing happened multiple times. The explicit reasons were various forms of “it encourages hierarchical thinking,” and it “makes others feel bad if they’re not the boss” and so forth. I don’t know, that reasoning just doesn’t resonate with me.

The fantasy of a “flat org structure” was at play here a bit, I think, which is part of why this irks me in particular. And it may have been that they didn’t like me being addressed as “boss” if they were in earshot, since maybe it reduced their position as “boss?” I don’t know, I’ve always found it curious. But I did as I was told.

Anyway, I now lead a team of one, so I’m the boss of only me. Worst employee ever.